Things are allright.

After all my tales of angst, woe is me, I have to return to the hospital, I'm back here again and it hasn't been all that bad. Its actually been quite relaxing. I've gotten two different dosages of chemo over the past few days with minimal side effects. I guess the anticipation of returning is much worse than the actual being here.

I have a nice, quiet room. I decorated it with Tibetan Prayer Flags (a gift from my daughter Gaby.) I have pictures of my kids, a Virgen de Guadalupe pillow, a heart quilt my mother made. I also displayed a plaque my son Mario made saying, "Not that you need any help BUT...GET WELL SOON!" which is adorable. My daughter's friend Maria brought me some Holy Water from her Russian Orthodox Church plus postcards of a few saints. My friend Ale brought me a print out on Saint Peregrine - Patron Saint of Cancer Patients which also includes a lovely prayer. Finally, I have images of Frida Kahlo. Her difficult life and willingness to endure endless physical and emotional pain gives me strength. She used her art to express a multitude of emotions - some of which I believe we will never fully experience in our own lifetime.

Over the weekend my sister Diane came up from L.A. She picked up my Mom in San Jose and they visited Saturday and Sunday. We watched movies here, had lunch together and just talked. It was relaxing, distracting and just enjoyable. A good weekend for a great family visit.

Friday was my husband Gary and I's 27th wedding anniversary. Who knew? We have a marriage well on its way to 30 years! Since that was my first day back at the hospital, he took time off from work and we had a long lunch together. He went to my favorite Japanese restaurant in the Sunset District - Ebisu - and brought me the most delicious shrimp tempura and fresh crab rolls. YUM!!! It was a great meal together. In the evening he came back after work and we watched the Warriors play ? It really didn't matter who they were playing. I just enjoyed the time together with Gar.

So that's my big sob story. Doesn't sound very sad does it? It isn't. I get so disappointed in myself when I wallow in all that angst and fear. Once I'm firmly planted in whatever situation I fear, it usually works out just fine. This is exactly what happened with this hospital visit. Oh I may face a few bad days ahead but I'll face them if and when they happen.

So Happy Valentines day out there. Give a hug to those you love or a quick call or email.

and remember...

Yes, I can benefit from this over and over again....

Martha